Today ended like any other normal Friday would: I got off work and headed up to pick up Stella from daycare. Today I felt generous, so I picked dcp up some hot chocolate from Caribou. I arrived and Stella was so excited to see mama and she requested to mimi at K's house. I happily obliged as I have been doing since we started daycare with K. We all three enjoy this time because Stella gets to nurse, and K and I get to engage in adult conversation which I'm sure she appreciates very much after spending all day with children.
This particular day was a bit different. She told me she needed to talk to me about something and it was really hard. I'll cut to the chase. Another daycare mom had requested I not nurse at pick up anymore because she thought it was causing her son confusion to see someone his age nursing. He, apparently, is taking more of an interest in girls' bodies and his own body by getting naked.
::blink blink::
Of course, the first thing I feel is anger as I begin to well up with tears. I successfully held them back. I'm not even really sure how to rest of the conversation went because my mind was going crazy with confusion.
Does this other mother not realize that being curious about one's body and his peers' bodies is completely normal almost three year old behavior?? I mean what the fresh hell? I'm never indecent when I nurse in front of other children, but I don't hide anything. Children deserve to see what is natural and normal!
K texted me shortly after Stella and I had left a simple, "I'm sorry." This was my reply to her:
"It's not a big deal. I understand having to respect other parents. It's the ignorance and blame on her part that upsets me. I'm making what feels like the best choice for my baby and she feels like she is making the best choice for hers and we probably thing each other is very wrong, but that's parenting."
She thanked me for being understanding, but as I sit and think about my response I feel mad at myself for being a door mat. If I would have said what I wanted to say it would have been incredibly inappropriate and tactless. I'm going to share it here:
"I want to tell you it's not a big deal, but it is a big deal to me. I do understand having to respect other parents' wishes, but I wish that you would have offered them some education on age appropriate toddler behavior and toddler nursing and maybe stood up for me a little bit. Nursing a toddler is very developmentally appropriate. It is not dirty and it is not something to be hidden or ashamed of. The fact that you simply complied with her request is implying to her, who apparently does not understand her son's behavior, that you do in fact believe that I am contributing to his confusion and damaging him. I am making the best choice for my daughter. She feels like she is making the best choice for her son, but I will say it right here and now that she is not. She is being ignorant and is teaching her son ignorance. A simple explanation to G of what I am doing when I sit down to nurse my 2.5 year old would probably help him a lot. A few conversations about the difference between boys' and girls' bodies would also be helpful for him. Toddlers are smart. They understand things when you explain them to them."
Ok, so maybe that got a little out of hand, but this is just a hypothetical situation here.
Anyway, that's really all I have to say about that. I feel a little better now that I got it out of my system.
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