19 week update

Update time!

I don't look much different from last week. Maybe I'll take a picture tomorrow.

19 weeks

141.5 pounds

I've been SO incredibly tired lately. I function just fine, but jeez I'm tired. I haven't been sleeping the greatest. Sometimes I'll feel like I've been awake all night. Some times I'll wake up a million times. Today, my phone rang. It was Erik right outside our back door telling me he went out and locked the door without his car keys. UGH! So I got up to give them to him and I could NOT go back to sleep. I've been up since 5:30 this morning. I think I'm also sick to death of being stuck in the house all the time. Come on and get here nice weather! 

Movement has definitely picked up in the last week. I've felt baby from the outside many, many times! I notice it gets active after I eat or drink something or if I'm sitting or lying down. I can't get Erik to wait with his hand on my belly to feel baby because it freaks him out which makes me a little sad, but oh well. He'll feel it eventually.

Next week is my 20 week appointment and I'll get to schedule my ultrasound! I'm so excited to see this little goose again :) 

Baby is the size of a mango this week.

~6 inches

8.5 ounces

Mothering a toddler is strange

Mothering a toddler is strange. I have gotten much better at keeping my cool and not raising my voice which is good for both of us. She's so sweet in her 2.5 year old ways. She is so dang smart. Her voice makes me melt. Her ideas blow me away. The way she uses her imagination is incredible. Her personality is amazing. She has excellent selective listening ears. Her attention span is very variable. Her ability to think for herself is impressive. 

When were out, and she ventures off from what I'm looking at, instead of getting frustrated when she doesn't listen to me telling her, "Stella Vivien get back her by me right now," I really need to start going with her and letting her see what she wants to see and teach her something while I'm at it. When I was working, I was always in a hurry to cram everything I wanted to do into a day. Now I don't have any deadlines. I need to work harder on slowing down. I've got all the time in the world. In our world now, there's always tomorrow. 

Then there's her affection. Her sweet ways of showing love are so heartwarming. I love her kisses and her hugs and her licks and when she tells me, "Mama, I like you." She's so very sincere. I LOVE more than anything showering this girl with love and affection and I'm so glad that she shares that love. I love the way it feels to look into her eyes and tell her how much I love her and how special she is to me. I know she feels it when I tell her because her face usually lights up, but someday I hope she can look back on all the times I'll tell her this and be so happy and feel so full. 

Night time snuggles are my favorite. We all pile in bed and get all cozy and she asks in her sweet, sleepy Stella voice, "Mama, can I Mimi?" And I say, "Oh of course my love." And the way her face lights up makes the moon look dim. She latches and begins to suck (and it hurts for a second) and her eyes get heavy and i tell her how lovely our day was together and how much mama loves her and she says, "Mm hmm," because her mouth is full of boob. And a few minutes later she's out like a light. The snuggles that follow are so special with her head snuggled into the very chest that kept her alive the first few months of her life. To have had and still have such a lovely nursing relationship has been such a blessing. I don't think i know just how lucky I am to share that bond with her. 

Time to snuggle close and have sweet dreams with my girl. 

18 week update

18 weeks

140 pounds 

This week has been pretty uneventful. I just feel mostly normal lately. 

Sleep has been fine. I've still been going to sleep really late and waking up late. I really need to stop that.

I'm still only feeling popcorn kicks most of the time. Sometimes it feels like an arm or a leg pushing out. Movement isn't all the time yet. I still have to really concentrate to feel it.

Gosh, I just don't have much to say. That makes for a boring read, but I guess that's a good thing. I'd rather have no news to share than bad news! 

Baby is the size of a sweet potato this week.

~5.6 inches

6.7 ounces

Enjoying you

Dear Stella bird, 

    I am enjoying you so much lately. Your sweet voice and wonderful ideas make me so happy. Sometimes you're a handful, but I remind myself that you're supposed to be a handful because you're learning. Since we've been at home together full time I feel like my patience with you has grown and I'm sweeter to you. I have time to slow down and put my projects aside to play with you, talk to you, sing with you, and color with you. Since we spend more time together, you play independently more so we both get a break. I was finding myself being very selfish with my time when I was working. I love lying with you at bedtime. I love snuggling your little body close to me. I'm enjoying this very much because when my belly gets bigger we won't be able to snuggle as well. We'll find a way; I'm sure of it. 

Good night my sweet turkey,

Mama loves you <3

17 week update

17 weeks

140 pounds 

Back to eating like normal again. As a matter of fact, I feel pretty normal :) 

Sleep has been pretty good. DST is really throwing me off though. I don't get tired until really late and then I'm exhausted in the morning. I need to make myself get back on a schedule and go to sleep when Erik does instead of sitting awake in bed doing crafts.

Baby Goose was kicking up a storm a little while ago. It was awesome. The movements still don't really feel like kicks yet, but it sure is neat. Despite my growing belly, seeing baby on the ultrasound, listening to the heartbeat almost daily, and FEELING it move inside me, it's still not real to me that I'm having a second baby. Stella's pregnancy was 'real' nearly immediately, but this one is different. It's not that I don't feel connected, because I very much do, but it's still very dreamlike :) 

I had a midwife appointment yesterday. I brought up my minimal weight gain, because by this time with Stella I'd gained at least 10-12 pounds. She let me know that I'm right on target. Baby is only a few ounces so the gain can't really come from there. I joked that it's probably coming from my boobs. She agreed that it's probably boobs and extra blood. *mind eased*
Baby's heartbeat pops up immediately when she puts the doppler on my belly these days. She said it sounded lovely.
She also said my uterus feels perfect in size :) It's so crazy to see a big bulge in my stomach when I lay on my back now! 

Baby must have been toward my back in my picture last week because I look really small. It makes this week look huge. I still don't look super pregnant with my shirt down.

Baby is the size of an onion this week.

~5.1 inches

5.9 ounces

Tied up newborn hat - crochet pattern

I want to make sure I never forget how to make this hat! 

Worsted weight yarn.

J hook

Magic ring, chain 1, make 3 sc in ring, continue to sc in rounds
Round 2: 2 sc in each stitch around (6 sts)
Round 3-16: sc in each stitch around (6 sts)
Round 17: 2 sc in first stitch, sc in next two stitches, repeat around (8 sts)
Round 18-20: sc in each stitch around (8 sts)
Round 21: 2 sc in first stitch, sc in next three stitches, repeat around (10 sts)
Round 22-24: sc in each stitch around (10 sts)
Join rounds from here on. Work in back loops of last 2 sts in each row to the end.
Round 25: sc in each stitch around, join, chain 1 (10 sts)
Round 26: 2 sc in each stitch around, join, chain 1 (20 sts)
Round 27: sc in each stitch around, join, chain 1 (20 sts)
Round 28: 2 sc in first stitch, SC in next, join, chain 1 (30 sts)
Round 29: sc in each stitch around, join, chain 1 (30 sts)
Round 30: 2 sc in first stitch, SC in next 2 stitches, join, chain 1 (40 sts)

Round 31-33: 2 sc in first st, sc in next 7 sts, repeat around (45 sts)

Round 34-43: sc in each stitch around (45 sts)

Fasten off and weave in ends.
Tie knot in the top of the hat.

16 week update

16 weeks

139 pounds

I'm back to nothing sounds very good to eat. Eating is mostly functional these days. I miss enjoying my food. I've been eating lots of grapes, apples, eggs, peanut butter toast, almonds and cottage cheese. I definitely make myself eat meat when I cook it for dinner, but I don't necessarily enjoy it. I'm still having to eat every 2-3 hours.  

Sleep has been pretty good. I think Stella is finally sleeping through the night and she's been going to sleep very easily. It's been very nice. I feel really good through the day and I'm sure it's because we're going to bed pretty early. We've got to keep that up :)

I feel movement a couple times a day at least. Yesterday, I felt three strong movements and I swear I felt it from the outside, too. I mostly only feel anything when I'm lying or sitting down and being still.

My maternity jeans were in the wash today and I'm not one to wear yoga pants all day long so I grabbed my regular jeans and they still fit just as well as ever except that they don't button. I was pleasantly surprised.

Baby is the size of an avocado this week.

~4.6 inches

3.5 ounces

Magic

In the still of this night, lying in bed, listening to the fan whir, I felt you. I felt your tiny limb poke me from inside as if you were saying hello. Twice within 45 seconds. The feeling was undeniable. Other times I have wondered, but was never for sure. This time I am sure. It's you in there, baby goose, saying hello to mama for the first time. A smile spread across my face and tears filled my eyes. There your movements finally are. I've felt my uterus get very full-like and I knew you were stretching or changing position, but these couple popcorn like pokes are different. These are the beginning of my absolute favorite part of pregnancy. These kicks are the way I bond the strongest with you. These kicks further solidify the reality of this pregnancy that still hasn't quite sunk in. This entire process of my body growing you is magic. Mama is tired now baby, but I'll lie here awake a little while longer hoping to feel you just once more tonight.