7 weeks

Update time!

7 weeks

136 pounds

I don't completely hate food anymore. I have been craving fruit and vegetables and fish. Basically anything fresh. I had a bite of Erik's steak last night and about puked it up. So meat is out... again. I'm eating just like I was when I was pregnant with Stella.

My nausea has lessened. I only feel bad when I over eat. I'm still pretty tired. My nipples are extremely sensitive. Nursing Stella is excruciating. Sometimes during the day I can get away with asking her to be patient and wait a little while to mimi, but at night it's a different story :( Girlfriend freaks out if I  tell her no. I don't mind listening to her cry and writhe, but it pisses Erik off because he has to wake up early. We've really got to figure something out with her. 

My next appointment is a week from today! 

We told both of our families on Christmas. I guess everyone was excited. 

I told Erik last night that I think baby is a girl. Based on the way I'm eating it's got to be. I was lying in bed with Stella last night and just imagined lying there with my two special girls. Stella says baby Goose is a girl, too. 

Baby is the size of a blueberry this week.

~.51 inches

Some pictures from Christmas! 

We had a great time opening our gifts Christmas morning! 

Stella got a new doll house, a hot wheels track and 5 cars, a Mike Wizowski doll, Pikachu!, and a shape sorter.

Erik got a water pitcher with a filter and a new butcher block.

Erik surprised me with a stand mixer!!!, a very pretty bracelet from Fossil that I had been eyeing and a sweater I wanted! 

5 weeks

Update time!

5 weeks!

136 pounds

Belly is 32 inches around 

I hate food this week.

I'm nauseated, bloated, and exhausted.

I had my first midwife appointment yesterday. That went well. It was mostly just intake stuff and talking about normal things. She took my weight and my blood pressure. I go back in 3 weeks.

I made Stella's 'Big Sister' shirt last night! 

As of right now we don't have plans to tell our families, but I'm getting really anxious to do it. I'll be 6 weeks next Tuesday. Wednesday is Christmas and I'd really like to arrive with Stella's special shirt on and surprise everybody. Erik's mom and dad just left for Mexico and don't have definite return plans. So I don't know when we'll tell them. I want his parents to know before his siblings.

Baby is the size of an appleseed this week.

~.13 inches

Nostalgic belly progression

Baby bird is with her abuelitos tonight and I'm bored wasting time on the internet. I decided to put together a belly progression of her pregnancy!

First picture is 4 weeks (the day we found out). The second picture skips to 10 weeks. Last picture is 38 weeks because I gave birth 4 days later :)

That's all! G'night! 

Happy Saturday to me!!!

Wooo hooooo!! 

I woke up Saturday ready to start peeing on things. My temp hadn't gone up at all so I wasn't expecting much and much to my dismay the Wondfo I used was a very sad negative. I had a FRER sitting on sink calling out to me to use it, so I thought what the hell. I dipped it and slid it back into the wrapper and went about my morning business. I took it back into my bedroom where E and S were snuggling in bed reading and got dressed. I wasn't really in any hurry to look at the test because I thought it would probably be negative just like the Wondfo was. I grabbed it and took it out knowing I was right, but I was very wrong! I gasped. Things don't make me gasp, but this did! Then I smiled. E asked me if I was kidding, right? I shook my head and kept smiling and then I started crying and he hugged me and kissed me. Makes me teary just thinking about it. 

Here is my charty chart chart: 

Symptoms: I was a huge bitch on Friday. I was irritable and had zero patience for anybody. I've been having crazy, vivid dreams the last couple nights. I've been exhausted. That's the #1 difference I feel. I napped in the afternoon today and yesterday. I'll probably be ready for bed at 8 with baby bird.

EDD: August 19, 2014

Pee sticks!! 

10dpo!! BFP!!

11 dpo to 12 dpo progression

Other than this amazing news, Erik and I road tripped to Minnesota Saturday so buy a shelf for Stella's play room. It was super fun :) 

Toddler nursing struggles

Today ended like any other normal Friday would: I got off work and headed up to pick up Stella from daycare. Today I felt generous, so I picked dcp up some hot chocolate from Caribou. I arrived and Stella was so excited to see mama and she requested to mimi at K's house. I happily obliged as I have been doing since we started daycare with K. We all three enjoy this time because Stella gets to nurse, and K and I get to engage in adult conversation which I'm sure she appreciates very much after spending all day with children.

This particular day was a bit different. She told me she needed to talk to me about something and it was really hard. I'll cut to the chase. Another daycare mom had requested I not nurse at pick up anymore because she thought it was causing her son confusion to see someone his age nursing. He, apparently, is taking more of an interest in girls' bodies and his own body by getting naked.

::blink blink::

Of course, the first thing I feel is anger as I begin to well up with tears. I successfully held them back. I'm not even really sure how to rest of the conversation went because my mind was going crazy with confusion.

Does this other mother not realize that being curious about one's body and his peers' bodies is completely normal almost three year old behavior?? I mean what the fresh hell? I'm never indecent when I nurse in front of other children, but I don't hide anything. Children deserve to see what is natural and normal!

K texted me shortly after Stella and I had left a simple, "I'm sorry." This was my reply to her:

"It's not a big deal. I understand having to respect other parents. It's the ignorance and blame on her part that upsets me. I'm making what feels like the best choice for my baby and she feels like she is making the best choice for hers and we probably thing each other is very wrong, but that's parenting."

She thanked me for being understanding, but as I sit and think about my response I feel mad at myself for being a door mat. If I would have said what I wanted to say it would have been incredibly inappropriate and tactless. I'm going to share it here:

"I want to tell you it's not a big deal, but it is a big deal to me. I do understand having to respect other parents' wishes, but I wish that you would have offered them some education on age appropriate toddler behavior and toddler nursing and maybe stood up for me a little bit. Nursing a toddler is very developmentally appropriate. It is not dirty and it is not something to be hidden or ashamed of. The fact that you simply complied with her request is implying to her, who apparently does not understand her son's behavior, that you do in fact believe that I am contributing to his confusion and damaging him. I am making the best choice for my daughter. She feels like she is making the best choice for her son, but I will say it right here and now that she is not. She is being ignorant and is teaching her son ignorance. A simple explanation to G of what I am doing when I sit down to nurse my 2.5 year old would probably help him a lot. A few conversations about the difference between boys' and girls' bodies would also be helpful for him. Toddlers are smart. They understand things when you explain them to them."

Ok, so maybe that got a little out of hand, but this is just a hypothetical situation here.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say about that. I feel a little better now that I got it out of my system.

Cycle 2

Hence the title, last cycle didn't result in a pregnancy.. whomp whomp whomp. Oh well. It was a spur of them moment decision and I didn't entirely expect to get pregnant our first try anyway.

Cycle #2 is coming to an end and I'm feeling pretty good. 

Quick facts:

Today is cd25/9dpo.

O on cd16

Sex: O-2, O+1

Explained stuff: 

I'm charting temperature, cervical fluid and positioning and also used OPKs this month. 

I got a positive OPK on cd15 and a barely positive at 5pm on cd16. I counted that as positive because I actually felt myself ovulate around noon on cd16. It was a quick pinching/cramping sensation and then a continued dull cramping for about an hour. So I ovulated on cycle day 16. I was upset at the time about our timing of sex. We DTD 2 days before O, then Erik dropped the ball the day of O because he felt nervous about the fact that he knew I was ovulating. Husband fail. We didn't have sex until the night of cd17. I'm estimating it being about 30 hours after O. Maybe still decent timing.

I don't usually count any of my 'feelings' as symptoms because I know I'm 80% more likely to be close starting my period than I am of turning a pee stick positive. I don't usually have any premenstrual symptoms. This time I think I might:

- I was WIPED OUT last night. 

- I've had super weird vivid dreams the last 2 nights. I don't usually dream much. 

- I could NOT fall asleep last night. 

- have no patience for anybody except for Stella. I feel a strong urge to be home with her. 

I POAS last night because I'm a psycho and like to pee on things: BFN, of course. I might pee on another Wondfo tonight before bed just because.

Ok, enough possible pregnancy stuff... Erik and I are road tripping to Minnesota tomorrow to go to Ikea! I'm pretty excited. I think we're probably going to spend waaaay more money than we're expecting and then hate ourselves on the way home. As my annoying wonderful husband would say, "Fuck it, YOLO." Ugh, vomit. I hate that saying.

So here is my preliminary Ikea shopping list. LOTS of stuff for $187. It wouldn't be so much but the one thing we are actually going for is $60 and we're buying two. So, $67 for all that other crap isn't a bad deal! I just hope I can slip it all in our cart and through the check out without Erik noticing! 

That's all for now because I'm just rambling anymore! 

Due date

Today would have been my due date had I not miscarried in April. 

I feel like I was much more sad last night than I am today. I mentioned that Thai Flavors sounded good last night, so Erik suggested I get some. I ordered over the phone and drove there to get it. On my way home I started thinking of what could have been and, it was probably a sad song on the radio that pushed me over the edge, I lost it. I was sobbing, driving up E 14th St. I'm glad it was dark. I managed to stop crying by the time I got home and made my face look like I hadn't been crying and went inside with my food. I tried to share my feast with Stella, but she didn't like the "green sauce". She nibbled on some rice and ran off to play with daddy. I sat alone eating my dinner trying to feel normal, but I couldn't. I ate way too much and felt like shit afterward. When I'd cleaned up, I went to snuggle with Erik on the couch. He must have noticed me being so quiet because he hugged me. 

I believe everything happens for a reason. I didn't used to believe this, but now that I'm (kind of) grown up and have had a few trying experiences; I believe. We went through some stuff around then and times were tough. We came out on top and stronger than ever. 

I kind of lost my train of thought with this.. so I'll have to come back later and finish.

Friday, Friday, Friday!

Hmm... so this is pretty new to me. I'm just going to pretend I'm writing in my journal.

I have good news and I have frustrating news. The good news is that we decided not to wait to get pregnant and I could be pregnant! The frustrating news is that I can't test until FRIDAY! It's only Monday. I guess until then I'll just be obsessing over my BBT chart and being hyper aware of my body until then.

BBT Chart

I ovulated October 29th this cycle. That would make my due date July 22.
When I got pregnant with Stella, I ovulated October 28th. My due date that my midwife followed was July 17, but I know that it was actually July 21 because I didn't ovulate until cycle day 19. It's not a huge difference, but it makes a difference to me. It would be pretty cool to be pregnant this cycle because of the similarities :) It would also be alright if I wasn't pregnant this cycle so that we could avoid another July birthday. The risk of the baby being born on Stella's or my birthday scares me a little because I believe everyone needs their own day. It would be a lovely 24th birthday present though.