Mothering a toddler is strange

Mothering a toddler is strange. I have gotten much better at keeping my cool and not raising my voice which is good for both of us. She's so sweet in her 2.5 year old ways. She is so dang smart. Her voice makes me melt. Her ideas blow me away. The way she uses her imagination is incredible. Her personality is amazing. She has excellent selective listening ears. Her attention span is very variable. Her ability to think for herself is impressive. 

When were out, and she ventures off from what I'm looking at, instead of getting frustrated when she doesn't listen to me telling her, "Stella Vivien get back her by me right now," I really need to start going with her and letting her see what she wants to see and teach her something while I'm at it. When I was working, I was always in a hurry to cram everything I wanted to do into a day. Now I don't have any deadlines. I need to work harder on slowing down. I've got all the time in the world. In our world now, there's always tomorrow. 

Then there's her affection. Her sweet ways of showing love are so heartwarming. I love her kisses and her hugs and her licks and when she tells me, "Mama, I like you." She's so very sincere. I LOVE more than anything showering this girl with love and affection and I'm so glad that she shares that love. I love the way it feels to look into her eyes and tell her how much I love her and how special she is to me. I know she feels it when I tell her because her face usually lights up, but someday I hope she can look back on all the times I'll tell her this and be so happy and feel so full. 

Night time snuggles are my favorite. We all pile in bed and get all cozy and she asks in her sweet, sleepy Stella voice, "Mama, can I Mimi?" And I say, "Oh of course my love." And the way her face lights up makes the moon look dim. She latches and begins to suck (and it hurts for a second) and her eyes get heavy and i tell her how lovely our day was together and how much mama loves her and she says, "Mm hmm," because her mouth is full of boob. And a few minutes later she's out like a light. The snuggles that follow are so special with her head snuggled into the very chest that kept her alive the first few months of her life. To have had and still have such a lovely nursing relationship has been such a blessing. I don't think i know just how lucky I am to share that bond with her. 

Time to snuggle close and have sweet dreams with my girl.